Strange Chess News by Elliote Wisanski Artificial Intelligence (AI) research has four major and one minor school of thought: 1) The Quasi Engineering School: Those who think the solution is to make thing bigger and more complicated. 2) The Quasi Physics school: Those looking for universal laws of intelligence. 3) The Quasi Mathematics school: Those looking for theorems of intelligence. 4) The Quasi Biology school: Those trying to explain intrinsically complicated natural mechanisms as simply as possible 4a) The minor Quasi Psychological school: This is a radical breakaway part of the Quasi Biology school. They basically anthropomorphize all Biology, adding introspection, conscious and unconscious thinking into mechanical forms. Chess players are amongst the foremost thinkers in these fields, but don't think we all march to the AI drum. Some Chess Masters Like Oxford physicist, mathematician and foremost living disciple of Albert Einstein, Sir Roger Penrose criticize the whole idea of artificial intelligence. (I recommend you read, The Emperor's New Mind) . It's the Quasi Biology group tinkering with creation that worries some chess players. It has been common knowledge for quite some time that studying the neural networks of invertebrates may be the key to developing artificial intelligence. It's a bit of a wonder why companies like Microsoft would make St. Augustine, Florida the Epicenter for this research, but it's true. For example the University of Florida's Witney Laboratory in St. Augustine (UFWL) is involved in this research. In Jellyfish it is geared towards finding how data is processed by their nervous systems. In fact Peter Anderson, a researcher at UFWL, is quoted as saying "physiologically {the jellyfish} is almost identical to you or me". I'm sure he just overlooked the fact that jellyfish have no Brains, or, maybe he only hangs out with checker players. Jellyfish seem to take the fore front of this new era of seeing how billions of years of evolution found such an efficient way to process this information. That is until now when a group of marine biologists headed by David Widgins in St. Augustine started studying the brains and nervous systems of Octopuses. Why? To see if it might have application in developing an artificial intelligence in Robots that do household chores all day and can still sit you down for a mean game of chess based on conceptual thinking: (not the dry trial and error logic of most chess software). "It will be the perfect wife!", say's Abdul Shleiman from Jax.Beach. Anyway Mr. Widgins, hopes to compete with Japan's Humanoid Robotics Project 'S HRP-2 a silver and blue humanoid robot that stands 5 feet tall, weighs 128 pounds and looks a bit like a small woman wearing a spacesuit. Why Octopuses? Octopuses are the most intelligent of invertebrate. For example they have been proven to learn to unscrew caps to get to food and to learn by watching other octopi. This type of learning is extremely uncommon in the animal kingdom. It is this learning ability that would make a giant leap for chess engine programs. Rasmi Pued, says he worked on the Cephalopods Chess Project for years and claims, "We found out some amazing stuff. For example the octopus brain acts like a General ordering his soldiers to capture some hills. The arms have semi independent brains capable of independent thought of their own but try and implement the orders as best they can. This application will help robotics immensely" He went on: "We've cracked the code of how information is encoded and how octopuses neurons talk to each other." Cephalopods Chess Products have an initial goal of testing their new software by giving it away free to some St. Augustine residents. Since it learns by playing, the software will eventually be recollected and studied for further product refinement. Is there a darker reason for this research? In 1897 a six ton blob washed up on the shore of St Augustine. It was determined at the time to be an unknown species of Octopus given the name Octopus Giganteus. Most estimates say it was 180 feet long. Alan Demier, a second grader and chess aficionado from St. Johns County, Florida claims, " This giant Octopus may be the same species worshiped by the Ais Indians, St Augustine's first ancient residents. They called it Naitaka." This was also the name of a water Monster feared by Indians near lakes Saskatchewan and Manitoba in Canada. You may ask: Why can't we run DNA testing on the Carcass to see what the St. Augustine blob is? It's just another mystery, the only samples of the blob disappeared from Yale's Peabody Museum. Are we unintentionally finding a way to transfer the consciousness of these super intelligent creatures on to the web? Bob Dale, a researcher in AI says, "We have nothing to worry about! We are way smarter then any Octopus. The average human has 300 billions neurons, 3000 times that of an octopus." His ten year old son Jimmey Dale say's "Octopus Giganteus (O.G.) is 12000 times the size of the average octopus. My pop is acting so weird these day's and look at his eyes. Even if you follow dad's reasoning O.G. may have 4 times the number of neurons of the human brain." Could this specie be living off the shores of St. Augustine (SA) all these years using some super- mental ability like ESP to get sensitive residents to do its bidding. Is its only current manifestion games played by its minions in particular the left brain oriented game chess? (The left brain lobe is suspected of being receptive to ESP) Even worse could it somehow be directing these AI research products by manipulating its minions subconsciouses? Will Cortez, a ten year old from St. Augustine Beach, is sure this is the case. Let him tell you his story in his own words "My parents are Web Masters by profession every night for two years they would play chess and look out over Matanza Bay((SA) from our home. I'd try to talk to them but all they would do is just stare at me with a glazed look in their eyes . On April 2, this year, I was watching T.V. at home. It was storming outside when suddenly, 200 feet from my house, a giant bolt of lightning struck the water in Matanza Bay. My parents, who were playing chess at the time fell to the floor as if what ever was controlling their nervous system lost its grip. The glazed look on my mom and dad's eyes dissipated. They both yelled to me with the same word 'Run before it gets out of shock!'. I ran to the back door, but by the time I got there, our computer operated security system, locked it. So I ran to the front door. Again the door locked before I could get out. Then ten minutes later another bolt of lighting struck right near the first one and the front door lock opened. The wind blew the door open and I ran out. I live with my uncle in Palatka Florida now. I want to thank the Jax Chess News for listening to my story. No other Chess News letter would. " Could this invertebrate AI chess research be a back door for this giant species of octopus to gain control of the whole internet? Roger Corbin, a third grader, chess player and son of a computer design engineer living in St Augustine, says, "" I heard my parents whispering."" After we copy the octopus neural pathways on to computer engine the O.G. will interphase with it. We can use modems designed for underwater communication systems."" Even worse could ESP allow it to interphase with its artificially copied neural pathways? Paranormal events are stirring in St Augustine. They are of interest to many visitors." says, Joey Loretto, a fourth grader from St. Augustine beach. "Every night hundreds of people walking around on ghost tours. My parents go every night and believe in most of ghosts sightings. People are claiming they've seen visions of horrors that occurred in St. Augustine in the past. The murder of the French after their surrender and promise of safe passage to France by the Spanish (Giving St. Augustine Bay its name Matanza meaning slaughter in spanish, 1565), the Yamasee Indians massacred by the English (1727) ect." Are these residuals essentially still pictures left on the psychic ether from stressful mental impression of people long ago, as paranormal researchers would like us to believe? Or are they memories of some long living species of Cepholapod waiting and watching off the shores of Matanza Bay ? Learning all it can about mankind and showing its minions all the wrong doings of man. Could Octopus Giganteus now have found an easier way into the unconscious minds of people not receptive to ESP by using chess software ? It's a well known fact that subliminal messages can be sent to people by quick flashes over a T.V. or movie screen. In fact it was a great way to advertise ,but, in 1974 the FCC adopted a policy saying that, " subliminal advertising was contrary to the public interest", so it was effectively banned in public mediums. ( An exception is noted. In 2000 it was used by a Republican smear campaign of Al Gore, called RATS) Why couldn't this be done on a computer monitor? Xai Everett, a nine year old from (SA) say's "Something is going on over here. My parents are obsessed with chess and writing software for it. We children aren't affected by it." Could children be immune to this influence, because school internet computer proxys screen out game software? To answer these questions we appointed a committee headed by Brad Zang a co-editor of the JCN. His unedited investigation and conclusions are as follows. As committee chairman I reviewed the 300 page report submitted by my committee and concluded. 1) That the most damning testimony in this case came from children whose parents all said the same thing, "Children tend to fib and have vivid imaginations. " 2) That the committee mistakenly assumed subliminal messages work. Which they don't! 3) Sea Monsters? I don't believe in Sea Monsters. So I closed the case because it was non prima facia. Respectfully Submitted by Brad Zang Chairman JCN Cephalopod Investigation Committee, April 23 2002