Straphanger Memory Altering Reported

 A soon to be President, Martin Van Buren once forewarned , "'Railroad carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 miles per hour by 'engines' which, in addition to endangering life and limb of passengers, roar and snort their way through the countryside, setting fire to crops, scaring the livestock and frightening women and children. The Almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed."

Also, it been proposed by the Carneades School of Mnemonics that an encryption code or natural password guards the memory in our minds (an encephalitic key if you may}. If found, someone or something could alter our memories, dreams, aspirations and our very personalities.

Their are many ancient schools of Memory or Mnemonics. Most schools accept that memory is an abstract process but the Carneades are true skeptics and believe memory is a tangible structure.

To help us understand this Strange Chess News we managed to get an interview with an expert at Carneades Mnemonics, who wishes to remain anonymous.

We Shall call him M. Grey: How could one find this key? M: An artificial neuron virus might be the answer.

 Grey: How would it be downloaded to the brain?

 M: Some have suggested a neuron virus could be downloaded by repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) . Studies by the National Institute of Mental Health have indicated that these frequencies do affect our thoughts. For example 20Hz repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation treatment seem to cause depression. This is indicated by decrease regional cerebral blood flow.

Grey: Where would this virus originate?

 M: Anywhere, even outer space. You would need an incredibly long magnetic field generating system to receive and send the varied long and short wave length needed to create a true TMS virus?

Grey: Do such systems exist today?

 M: Perhaps, a likely system that could receive and generate magnetic fields is the new electronic levitation railroads tracks.

Grey: When would the virus do its job? M: Perhaps all the time but it would be most effective while the brain is in its most creative mode, say playing chess.

Grey: Could this type of virus spread from person to person?

 M: Yes, using the non locality factor that connects our brains, it could influence a quarter of the people on this planet. This type of ESP or non locality factor has been proven in studies like that of Grinberg-Zylberbaum . ( http://www.swcp.com/~hswift/swc/Spring98/goswami9801.html)

 In it, 25% of people who spend time together can instantly transferred stimuli to the others, even over great distances. The connection certainly behaves like a neuron stimuli conduit that a TMS virus could infect.

 With this background, let Toshiya Misikuni tell his story. "I've always been a train buff, so I was delighted when I won a special raffle to ride the super new Yamanashi Mag Lev train last February.

Why? Picture a train that floats on a magnetic field pushed along by super conducting magnetic track exceeding speeds of 300 miles per hour. The trip was only about 20 min, and the view of Mt Fuji with surrounding farm land is breath taking.

Well on my Mag Lev ride, I sat next to a small boy playing solitaire chess. I thought it was very nice when he asked if I wanted to play. As a lark I played him and lost.

 When I got home I found out that I lost my job at the Kagoshima Space Center.

Fortunately, I soon found a better job working for International Superconductivity Technology Center in Morioka. So I would ride the Shinkansen (Bullet Train) from Tokyo to Morioka every day to get to work. About four months ago I noticed the same small boy I met on the Mag Lev. He would always sit next to me playing chess by himself . We began playing each other regularly on my way to work.

 After about two months, others on that train were playing chess. I didn't think much of it until I noticed that other cars on the train had chess players. At first I assumed it was a coincidence that those who played white, wore all white that day and others wore black.

 I would sometimes try and talk to the other player but when they looked up it was as if they didn't understand what I said. They kept asking me to repeat myself over and over. I started bringing family and friends on the train ride to see my games.

 Last months, for about two weeks, I was hospitalized for depression. When the Prozac that they prescribed finally took effect, I was released. I went back to work and didn't care about chess. I was just happy to sit there on the train.

What I found most curious was the children. Many, many children under five years old would ride the train playing chess and get off at Sendia, a stop before mine.

One day, I was early for work and got off in Sendia with the children. I followed them to the Sendia Observatory. They would sit in the planetarium area and use it as a day care center. I expected to see children playing chess or darumaotoshi (blocks).

 What I saw was a bunch of children writing higher mathematical equation in crayon. The two adult supervisors, one wearing white, the other black just staring into a chess board.

One child was working on schematics for building a machine. I grabbed it from him.

 He just looked at me. Then all the children started to stare at me.

 I decided to leave with the schematic. I went back to the train stop and decided to go back to Tokyo.

 I am an electrical engineer and I readily recognized some of the designs using ultra cold sodium gas2 to stop light for data transmission in the schematic for transfer to a Mag lev system. It looked like the one planned for China.

This seemed to be cutting edge science written by a two year old. I planned to take the schematic to our Boeicho Jieitai ( Military) the next day.

 When I got home my wife was still asleep so I crawled in to bed. My wife awoke, screamed and called the police. She acted as if she didn't know me and had me arrested.

 When I got out on bail, I went to my job. No one there knew me. They had me thrown out. They don't even recognize me at my old space center job or any where

. My parents said they have a son but it is not me. I live on the street now.

Please investigate."

Our Editor Brad Zang refused to form an investigation committee. He noted. "It is not our policy to investigate anything to do with men in black. Further M and those Carneades Mnemonics proponents are just a bunch of fanatical computer programmers turned social Darwinist. Oh! some people mistakenly believe that Prozac is the cure for everything. It will even protect us from Aliens attempting to control our mind."