Hamoukar Disgruntled Player Syndrome Reported

 What is it about Syrian desert that awakens such great ideas? We've all heard about Jonah, Paul and Mohammed getting inspirational revelations there, but did you know that Philip Stamma came out from a Syrian desert walk to become the father of modern chess, or that Gene Roddenberry a promoter of chess through Star Trek, got his creative inspiration for it, when his plane crashed in the Syrian desert.

 It is said Pythagoras (of Geometric fame) while traveling the Syrian waisteland came up with one of his lesser known but perhaps greatest theorems. It states that all things within the universe emit a tone.

Perhaps its just a coincidence. Pythagoras a student of animals and insects might have just noticed that even inanimate types of Larvae vibrate. ( Triceratops beetle is a good example.)

Perhaps we should look to the Roman scribe Titus Lucretius Carus (50 BCE) for our first clue to the answer.

 He wrote about a mysteries place, " In Syria also- as men say- a spot Is to be seen, where also four-foot kinds, As soon as ever they've set their steps within, Collapse, o'ercome by its essential power".

Today when we look back at that arcane desert spot mentioned by Lecretus our advanced technological knowledge makes the mysterious just a minor curiosity.

 For example: We now know sound waves inaudible to humans of frequencies of 40000 hertz can disorient (even make the animal fall down) ie: dogs, horses, cattle.

 But, can infra or ultra sound affect people? Scientists like Ciarán O'Keeffe now at Liverpool Hope University's Psychology department has conducted tests to answer this question. http://news.dmusic.com/print/6142

 Among some of the results so far are inaudible sounds cause anger and the feeling that ghosts are nearby.

Chess also seems to invoke anger in some people. Wars have been started over games and Chess History is riddled with quotes from angry disgruntled players. Even the fairest minded of men show signs of this.

In the early part of the 18th century Scottish Judge Lord Kames (Henry Homes) upon sentencing an old chess companion to death once said " And that Thomas is checkmate"

With this background let Anwar Aleppo tell his story. Thank you for hearing my story. We Syrians hope some day to have a free press like America.

Maybe it's just bad luck but unhappily, almost all of our public Free Press proponents are also criminals, so they get sent to jail and never get elected.

My wife Waha and I are wandering Bedouins. My camels have taken us to many cities in Syria.

Let me also assure you I do not believe The Great Prophet (Mohammed) meant chess makes you angry when he said "He who played chess is like one who dyed his hand with the flesh and blood of swine ."

This may have been an ancient cure for arthritis. Who really knows? Waha and I play chess all the time. Friendly loving games. One day last January while traveling near Iraq's boarder, my Camels and Donkey started crying out, staggering and collapsed. They were unwilling to go further.

 I then saw why, a great sandstorm was approaching. My wife and I went looking for cover. Like a miracle I saw what looked like a great eye open in the sand. It led to an underground bunker.

 My flashlight wouldn't work inside but fortunately our torches did. Looking around I thought this must be a military bomb shelter but like none I had ever seen before.

The stone was smooth like glass. My wife and I had very few supplies but she is a great cook. At first I though I should go outside and butcher the animals. I don't know why but when my wife found a small puddle of underground honey I was disappointed that I didn't have to kill my camel.

The honey was sweet and since the storm wouldn't let up, we ended up playing many chess games. Each time Waha won, I thought it would be so easy to find another wife. I could say she wondered off in the desert.

When I won, I always liked to laugh but stopped because my wife had this glaring look in her eyes. The second day my Waha quickly took back a move. I was enraged we almost came to blows. All the time I felt the hairs on the back of my neck twitching as though someone was watching me.

 I even saw an ethereal hand pointing out the move I should make. I began hearing whispers about new opening moves. I must say some of my games were amazing it was like some kind of inspiration came over both of us. Playing creative game.

It was like voices in my head were telling me " Be dynamic here. Play a more creative endgame." I never even thought you could be creative in the endgame. The third morning I won all the games. I jokingly told my wife, " if I had three more like her, maybe they could keep my interest."

 I then bent down to get some water from the canteen and my wife tried to tackle me pounding me with her little fists. We crashed into a wall that just cracked like glass and gallons of honey came pouring out. What I saw sitting their covered with glass and honey shocked me.

 It was hundred of combs of Bug larvae, some of the larvae the size of basket balls. I tried to gain my composure but my wife kept hitting me.

Suddenly from behind the wall of semi solidified honey comb came a man. At least I though it was a man. He had giant eyes and no ears. I yelled at him, "Who are you? What are you?".

 He didn't respond. Well scared and enraged, I attacked him. I would have gotten him too, if my wife would have stopped hitting and choking me.

 He then started making a shrill sound. All the combs seem to oscillate to his sound. The whole cavern lit up and I soon lost consciousness. Three days later my wife and I woke up in Mosul Iraq.

Our animals had dragged us their in make shift litter. Some towns folk then told me a legend the most ancient city in the world Tell Hamoukat. Tell Hamoukar, was ruled by the earless ones ( Hamoukar means earless ones in Pashtun).

The Hamoukar with great eyes led their people through a golden era of technological wonder and prosperity. One day for no reason, the humans were enraged, rioted fought amongst themselves and destroyed the town.

 Could this have been the Hamoukar?

Please investigate!! It could not have been a dream. My wife and I have the same story. If my wife and I can reconstruct some of those games you will think either we are grandmasters or something is up.

Our editor Brad Zang refused to form an investigation committee. He said, "What is this "if"? Send us some games and we will consider your request. This is a Chess News Letter not some whatever. "